Friday, August 29, 2008

Vitamin P

For about 7 weeks now I have been looking for a restaurant that had a "challenge" dish; one of those places that says something like, "if you can eat the whole thing, its on the house." With our vicious voracious biker appetites, I am sure we could devour any food-like substance, anytime, anywhere. Yesterday I found our chance.

In Springfield, Illinois there is this place called Charlie Parker's. It looks like a private airplane hangar from the exterior. Inside you'll find an oversized laminated menu with a tiny yellow box. "4 Giant Pancakes - if you can eat them all, we'll pay for them...$5.95". We have now entered a war zone, no cake is safe.

45 minutes later, there are three 16" pancakes in front of me and I am fighting back the vomit. I am soaking a rolled up lump of cake in a giant glass of milk, hoping that the milk will soak in so displacement will occur and this cake becomes more liquid-like (like the Japanese competitive eater Kobayashi) and easy to inhale.

36 hours later I am finishing pancake #2 which, along with #3 and 4 has been strapped down to the trailer since yesterday morning. The pancakes we took home are in a 16" pizza box! See above.

Also in Springfield the local newspaper took our photo and is running a story about the construction on the bike path we took. See below.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stayin Loose in St. Louis

So we jammed 75 miles down the throat of beautiful Freeway 71 in middle Missouri to St. Louis. We arrived at the house of the aforementioned Seymour, Joe, and John from the bands we met in other parts of MO, Fig Crosby and Rusted Skin. They have an awesome house and they helped us towards our goal of pizza bliss. We went all the way, we ate a sausage Elicia's pizza, ate Mountain Dew, and watch Grindhouse. Spending such a normal night in a normal house was so fun, I loved it.

The next day we saw the city, used the local bike coop, saw the new DIY press/print shop, and saw our new friend Seymour's studio. That's where a great day turned into a momentous night.

An old drunk next to Seymour's studio informed us about an open mic up the street on Lemp Street, called Venice Cafe. We show up, sign up and chat with the manager outside and he buys us falafels. We sit and drink coffee and watch acoustic guitar singers. We take the stage to an audience of 21-62 year old eclectics, not unlike a Venice, CA crowd. We immediately isolate or endear all. You love us or leave us. There is a 4 song limit, and we finish to 1 person chanting "F. U. N."

So, as it happens the one person chanting is Count Jackula, the frontman for the weirdo last band, a "porn rock" group called The Vagrant Sophisticates. CJ is a hulky dude that represents NYC to the core. He tells us we blew him away and we are awesome and so on! Haha! He actually said he was really nervous about following our act! Funderstorm ego boost!

He wants us to stick around for his set. Done. The Vagrant Sophisticate's lineup is Count Jackula up front, The Sexual Gorilla on guitar, and The Dead Janitor on bass. Hot. They open with "Beat Off In Front Of Your Dad"...they close with Count's tutu around his ankles. Totally ridiculous. We had a blast.
We half-met Tobin, who invited us to crash at his place around the corner, but he was leaving before our show! So, since I had his address, I decided we should go for it. We head there around 3am. No one is awake at Tobin's. I find an open window and climb in, unlock the door, and take the couch in Tobin's. Keep in mind that I exchanged about 3 sentances with him. We are sleeping in a stranger's house. How many live here? Are there dogs? Is this even the right house? Hahaha!

We wake up to Tobin asking how we got in. Luckily I didn't really get too much sleep, so I had plenty of time to scheme up an answer to this question. "we didn't want to wake you, so I just came in through that window."

Whatever, we go to our new friends family cafe in North City. We meet the whole family. Grace, Sofia, Denise, and sister (I forgot!) - HOWDY!

If you get the chance, do not miss The Crossroads Cafe in St. Louis! (Picture is below.) Its the kind of place that sells out slices of cheesecake in advance!
Also you might catch Mr. Sim The Cookie Man across the street, you want the apple cinnamon! (his picture is at the top)

-in case its not known, me -Marcus- is writing these blogs! I get all the blame and love! Thanks!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Pilot Knob, MO and The Punx That Rule It

Last Friday we played to our most receptive audience in The Dead Pawn's Jason's garage (Jason is pictured above, center). The crowd was mostly 15-20 year old punks and metal heads, whom I asked our marketing dept about and that is apparently our second target audience, the first being Los Angeles late night bicycle party hounds.

We followed a really interesting noise set "I Want To Kill Every Human" and then (I am serious) one match of backyard mud wrestling (Angel won). Anyhoo, the show was loud, fast, sharp, happy, silly and inspiring, and I know I will never forget it. It was so good, that the sound man, Zack Weiss invited us to play the next night, more in a minute.

We stayed the night at Jason's and listened to 45's and ate Cheeto's and Mac and Cheese and drank coffee. The next morning I woke up early and eager, and so did Jason. We started talking about art and careers and kids and ideas and people's outlook and within one hour we were making stencils for new Funderstorm shirts and recording tracks in his mudroom studio. It was an amazingly productive day. I can say its been the most productive day on the trip. Jason has the energy of 15 people and the skills to get things done. By 6PM we had 3 tracks and he threw in 3 Dead Pawns tracks for our first EP split! Its fun. We recorded 4 kids chanting "F. U. N!" on one track! Good times.

That night, Saturday, was our show for Zack Weiss in Farmington, 20 miles away. The gig for us was this:

The night was billed as an all-metal band nightlong festival in the giant patio of Bob-a-rino's Pizza!! The slots were full but Zack had the vision to fit is in as the entertainment between the bands, since they take 15 minutes to set up and we take 15 seconds. So, we rocked it!

The metalhead kids there were stunned. They were hit hard by the eff you enn.

A few awesome things happened. Some kids from Pilot Knob came, and for our "first song" grand start, they went out on their own accord and bought confetti, poppers, and silly string! Those kids really made it happen, big time.

Also, there was an amazingly hard, sharp band here called Rusted Skin. They were killing it, for real. In between songs, the frontman says, "give it up for Funderstorm, my roommate told me about them riding bikes, and I didn't believe him. Well, here they are!" as it turns out, we played at Cesspool Castle with Fig Crosby, and Seymour is roommates with Rusted Skin's Joe and John, who we now met at this metal show, 4 days later, 300 miles away! Haha! Turns out they live in St Louis, and Joe says at the next break between songs, "Seymour says what's up and that you guys should stay with us in St Louis!"

Also that night we were paid $25 and a giant pizza. We were happy that we got to play, and it was totally unforgettable.

Also the closing band "As Vultures Paint The Sky" is amazing too, check them out! Good people, all of them are really fun and talented, do not miss!

Gene's Pool

There is a fine land known as Missouri, in which lies a village known as Joplin, in which lies a castle known as The Cesspool Castle. This castle is ruled by a fair dictator known as Gene, and Gene rules his kingdom with kindness, compassion, and really good quinoa dishes.

Funderstorm entertained the King as loyal court jesters to which His Highness responded quite well and procured such fine quinoa and substantial dues as reward.

His Highness also hath documented this occasion on the visual recordation device from which He hath foreheaved to a visual illusionary theater known as YouTube. One may seek the one known as "CesspoolCastle Funderstorm" to find this recordation.

Monday, August 18, 2008

K-C-MO, wooOOOooah!

Thank you to The Charles Mansion, Audrey, Kyle, Kyle's dad, the amazing infoshop on Troost, the 816 Bike Collective, Kansas City Parks and Recreation Dept., Lovely and Union Press and all the KC Lowrider Crews, and last and not even close to least, Lauren and Tristen of There's Barbecue Sauce On The Table (for now). KC has amazing parks, pretty and wide streets, hot hot music, sharp handsome helpful people, hopping lowriders, rocking attitude, styles forever, cheap rent, abundant jobs, and the dog pictured below, Salvador. I will never forget this weekend and it will keep us amped forever. I actually look forward to a return to KC, no question that I will be back!

I miss you and I haven't even left yet.

-Marcus

Saturday, August 16, 2008

I Figured It Out

Today Brad asked me what exactly is a "MONSTER TRUCK!"?

I believe in the "MONSTER TRUCK!" as an attitude, not an oversized vehicle for wrecking, aka a "monster truck". A "monster truck" might wreck, but many things can mess one up or otherwise destroy it. On the other hand, nothing messes a "MONSTER TRUCK!" attitude up. No, nothing can mess up a "MONSTER TRUCK!" attitude.

The below image is an example of the work of a "MONSTER TRUCK!" attitude. Yes, its a monster car in a front yard in Eastern Colorado; but I urge you to take a closer look to the nature of this work.

Again, I stress that "MONSTER TRUCK!" is an attitude, an ideal, a lifestyle. The car pictured will of course throughout time be wrecked, but through the "MONSTER TRUCK!" attitude, the work lives on.

Funderstorm's First Full-Length Album Coming Soon.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Today's Miracle, Bullet Version

We ride 15 miles out of town. Brad blows 4 tubes and 1 tire in one stop.

We hitchhike (see me, below) to a very nice man's (Curt's) home, where we blow out his tire he donates, taken out of his own bike.

Curt drops us elsewhere to hitchhike to another city, hopefully one with a bike shop. We realize our precious tarp has been left at Curt's house, and he is now unreachable.

We are picked up by a very very nice man by the name of Larry (see above), who quickly performs the miracle of the day. He picks us up, buys us a hotel room, and offers to deliver us tubes from Pueblo!

What did I say?

I said, "He picks us up, buys us a hotel room, and offers to deliver us tubes from Pueblo!" and then I started chanting U S A ! U S A ! U S A ! U S A !

!!!THIS JUST IN!!!
The miracle streak of the day has just been extended!

The only bike shop here in La Junta, CO closed recently. The owner has moved on, but still lives in town. Curt gives us his number from the phone book!

We call him to ask for tubes, a shot in the dark. We finally get a hold of him, and he has tubes! Not only that, he invites us over for a spaghetti dinner! Yes, I can't believe it either!

We just returned from dinner with him and his lovely family. Chris and his clan are full of wonderful stories and spirit. I could go on and on but its a bit late. Anyhoo, we really enjoyed tonight and will never forget it!

So here we are in our hotel, eating cookies and chilling on AC and watching Olympic table tennis and living in the best country in the world and dreaming about the upcoming funderstorms approaching the Midwest. Life is cherished.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

One More Thing

Jesus, kiddie porn and the plastic wigs!

When I Say

I have to take a moment to say a huge THANKS to everyone who has donated to us! Its physically helping us but its also emotionally uplifting! Its a huge boost at a pivotal point in the tour. We are dreaming up some big plans for everyone that's supported us. I can't say enough about how good I feel for everyone that's shown us support! Really, thank you. Also, please please please send us your mailing address and we can start getting mail to yall!

One hugely hilarious coincidence we have come across is meeting Pat and Danny and crew! In Telluride we met these five guys, two riders and three crew members, touring from GA to LA! Two of them are Bicykillers, a group of fast riders in The Valley! Fernando, the director, interviewed Brad and myself and I am pretty sure we have him some goodies for the documentary they are making. Pat had actually seen our show on The Mother Of All Rides at Pan Pacific in LA! We loved his reaction to us telling him we were Funderstorm. HAHA! Man, at the end of the day its a very small bicycle world!

I have to say we also met the nicest couple ever! The Shines of Montrose, CO hosted us at our smelliest with the utmost respect, hospitality, and genuine warmth that really lifted our spirits. It was really a wonderful evening! Thanks!

Oh yeah, we crossed The Continental Divide! I slept in The Pacific and Brad slept in The Atlantic Continent! We woke up to 100's of roadies finishing a 7 day tour! We told the same stupid stories over and over and had a really cool time. Drank coffee which was really cool too, then I sang "Soul Sucking Jerk" by Beck over and over on the 4,000Ft descent. Enjoy the pic below!

Monday, August 4, 2008

You Can't Spell COLORADO...

...without COLOR!

We are safe and not really that hungry in Dolores, CO. We had this meal in Utah and it demonstrates some of our tenet food groups: The Cheese Group, The Broke Group, The Dumpster Group, and The Fizzy Group. Not pictured are any of our 6 Ice Cream Groups.

We are in Dolores for the evening, awaiting a very important package via PO General Delivery. In the meantime we are going down to the Dolores River/public park to work on 2 albums on our unbelievable digital 4track recorder.

Maybe I'll even drink a beer or 12. We haven't had any in 2 weeks, due to budgetary constraints. Maybe we can find some patrons of The Arts for the evening. Hmm.

Friday, August 1, 2008

What Goes Up...

...is US, as we GET DOWN! Climbing over mountains and into dumpsters! We have crash landed quite safely in Torrey, Utah. If I were to record all of our (mis)adventures here I'd put T-Mobile out of business. Alas, here are some highlights...
1 Met Johnathan (below), a bicycle tourist from Taiwan. HE IS FINISHING HIS YEAR LONG U.S. TOUR IN L.A. so if there are any Ridazz reading this, get ready to kiss a new friend! He is a good guy with a totally inspiring story!
2 Met Cody at Ruby's Inn at Bryce Canyon. Amazing encounter. Best banana creme pie at the Bryce Canyon Hotel just before the junction. Don't play games, just go there. Best pie, best Cody. Thanks again man.
3 Alas, Funderstorm knows the NON-fee fun way into Bryce Canyon Park. Ask me for details (Marcus). They charge $12 per bike or $25 per car, unlimited passengers! Thus, its cheaper for 3 in a car than 2 on bikes! As your fun advisor, I recommend finding your own entrance into any fee-related national parks. Umm, next. 4 Brief encounter with two girls touring LA. They end in SF, and I sent them to MikeBikeMike! Cross country bike love!
5 Found $40 of chips, snacks, and peanuts in a Kanab, Utah dumpster. B-RAD carried the 18+ lbs of peanuts up 3500 ft mountains, and we are still munching them. DUMP LIFE!